Reading, Listening, and Responding: What Does Integral Encounter Look Like?
{Danger Will Robinson! Danger! This post gets a little rambling!}
How do we really hear one another? What is it to engage in real communication? How is each of our ways of being experienced by the other? Do we ever really stop and examine our ways of being and interacting with others?
Lately a few ideas have been cross-fertilizing in my mind and have gelled into a sort of wondering... More on that a little later, but first some more direct statements about what integral communications might look like.
Relatively recently I came across a paper by Sean Esbjörn-Hargens in which he details the ways in which the Integral Model can be incorporated into the classroom through concrete praxis. I will quote at some length from pages 20-22 here:
"One defining characteristic of Integral Education is its emphasis on transformative practices that connect the five elements of Integral Theory to people's lived experience, direct awareness, and embodied presence. Both teachers and students can engage in a variety of practices to exercise, strengthen, and cultivate their own Integral awareness. Every moment in and out of class can be used to deepen one's own embodiment and transformation.
The following ten practices are ones that I use in my courses at JFKU to support the development of Integral Awareness in myself and my students. Students are expected to work with these in every class as well as at home. Class time is often set aside to hear about people's experiences with the practices and to give additional instructions on them. These ten practices interface with the five elements in numerous ways as should be obvious by the context.
*Embodied Reading: When you read the weekly assignments, read with your whole body (i.e., all three: gross, subtle, and causal). Be attentive to somatic states, presence, reactions, and your desire to read more or to not read at all.
*Engaged Reading: When you read the weekly assignments, read with your whole mind (i.e., all four major states). Be attentive to what excites you. Take notes, underline, identify questions, and outline key points/arguments.
*Presence: When you are listening to others speak, be present and fully attentive; when others speak, do not use it as a chance to collapse into your own world. Remain open to the mystery of the person talking. Feel your body, open your heart, and clear your mind.
*Reflective Dialogue: When you want to speak, reflect on how your contribution will deepen the conversation. Do not just talk to make a point or to have your cool idea heard. Be willing to not raise your hand and be willing to raise it. Notice how long you talk.
*Shadow Work: Be aware of your tendency towards projection, splitting things into "all good" and "all bad," and other defenses such as rationalization and intellectualizing.
*Inquiry: Continually inquire into your own experience and be reflective of how you are contracted and/or open.
*Perspective Taking: Be open to perspectives, especially those that seem problematic or challenge your own. Take as many perspectives as you can, seeing the truth context of each.
*Self-authorship: Notice how you are often concerned with what people think of you, what the "rules" are, how to fit in, and so on. Continually embrace opportunities to strengthen your capacity to self-author and be autonomous in a non-egocentric way.
*Witnessing: Be aware of the part of your awareness that is absolutely free from contraction and is always witnessing everything that arises in each moment.
*Daily Meditation: Engage in some form of spiritual practice on a regular basis (e.g., breath counting, prayer, body scans, vipassana, yoga, visualization).
These ten practices serve to make the Integral Psychology program at JFKU transformational for teachers, students, and the classroom. These practices inevitably bring teachers and students into direct contact with the four perspective-dimensions of the quadrants, various levels of their own awareness-embodiment, various developmental lines/capacities, numerous states of being, and the many types of learning that are conducive to their own growth. In other words, these practices help to create Integral teachers, Integral students, and an Integral classroom."
I think that this was all very nicely said and provides a wide riverbed from which much gold can be sifted. If you are currently in school, as I am, you likely see how these suggestions can be directly applied and integrated into your school experience. If you are not presently in school I think it should be somewhat easy to see the ways in which the general ideas could be adapted to home life, work life, or even just reading a blog entry.
Now I want to look at a few of the ideas presented by Esbjörn-Hargens and amplify them slightly.
Reading: How often do we 'space out' when reading something that is 'required' or even when we are reading something we choose, but the inner narrator intrudes? To what degree are we able to 'just do' what it is we are presently doing... whether that is reading, brushing our teeth, or talking to a cashier?
Presence: How often do we 'tune out' when someone else is talking and go off into our own daydream world? When we are engaged, how often are we merely preparing our rebuttals and counter-arguments rather than truly listening to what is being said and allowing ourselves even a moment to just 'sit with it?' Or better yet, a few more moments to examine the perspective, its contextual situation, its possible altitude, its emotional resonance, and possibly even its degree of quadratic inclusiveness or exclusiveness?
Shadow Work: How often do we get upset and try to pin our emotional state on someone else? In honestly reflecting back on my own experience, I cannot think of an instance of great emotional turbulence in me that did not say more about me than about 'the cause.' Sure there are jerks in the world and sure there are amazing people... but it is when I am having the strong emotional response to the person that I become aware that it is 'my stuff.' For instance if someone is acting in a poor manner and I think 'boy they are sure acting like a jerk today' that is probably a (fairly) reasonable observation. When someone is acting like a jerk and my internal dialogue runs a little more like this: 'Boy what fucking arrogant asshole! Somebody needs to teach them a lesson. I hope that they are acting like that around a few big ex-cons one day...' Well in that case, my cognitive/emotional response says more about me than it does them (even if they are indeed acting arrogant etc.). How about you? Does this sound familiar or way off base? What might either answer say about someone?
Witnessing: What is an interesting exercise is to see the degree to which I can just witness events and responses as they arise. This may sound passive, but it is not necessarily so. It is doing what I would 'normally' do, but with the full awareness of my doing it. While much of my mindfulness and witnessing practice involves witnessing how often I am not mindful, in the moments when I am able to witness myself fully it is almost surreal. There is me, the environment I am interacting with, my emotional responses, etc. all going on as they 'normally' do except that some part of me is aware that they are all arising in the spacious awareness... this part is not invested in or concerned with any particular outcome or result. The irony is that as I am able to increasingly see the world from this vantage point I am able to become more involved not less so (more 'skillfully' as well).
Ok I have addressed the reading and listening... now what exactly is encounter?
For those readers old enough to remember the heyday of the 60's and early 70's, you may have participated in an encounter group or two or at least heard the phrase. The idea of 'encounter' is that two people fully meet and interact from a space of mutual authenticity and regard for the other as fully human, fully being. Facades are dropped in favor of real, spontaneous, communication of what is happening in the here-and-now. Encounter groups are simply a group process that seeks to help people get in touch with their authentic emotions in real time and to learn how to fully 'be real' with others. They can also be beneficial for pointing out areas of yourself of which you were previously unaware. The Johari window is the classic illustration of this:
Johari Window
Regarding encounter groups in general Irvin Yalom (2005), the 800 pound gorilla of group theory, describes the encounter group as follows:
'What Is an Encounter Group?
"Encounter group" is a rough, inexact generic term that encompasses a great variety of forms and has many aliases: human relations groups, training groups, T-groups, sensitivity groups, personal growth groups, marathon groups, human potential groups, sensory awareness groups, basic encounter groups, and experiential groups.
Although the nominal plumage is dazzling and diverse, all these experiential groups have several common elements. They range in size from eight to twenty members - large enough to encourage face-to-face interaction, yet small enough to permit all members to interact. The groups are time-limited and are often compressed into hours or days. They are referred to as "experiential groups" because they focus to a large extent on their own experience, that is, the here-and-now. They transcend etiquette and encourage the doffing of traditional social facades; they value interpersonal honesty, exploration, confrontation, heightened emotional expressiveness, and self-disclosure. The group goals are often vague: occasionally they stress merely the provision of an experience - joy, entertainment, being turned on - but more often they implicitly or explicitly strive for some change - in behavior, in attitudes, in values, in life style, in self-actualization, in one's relationship to others, to the environment, to one's own body. The participants are considered "seekers" and "normals," not "patients" or "clients"; the experience is considered not therapy but "growth."'(p. 526)
In my estimation, the altitude of the 'encounter group' has historically been mostly green with perhaps some dashes of teal. These groups have been a tool used to focus on one's way of being, experiencing, and interacting. They are also a technique that is very good at helping one to focus on process.
Okay, so how does all of this long rambling tie in together? The answer is that I have been musing about what an Integral Encounter Group might look like. So, if you will, come with me on a brief trip into the imaginal realm of the thought experiment.
What if we were to take 10 adults all of whom had been engaged in an Integral Life Practice (ILP) for some time, had some fair degree of understanding of AQAL theory, Big Mind, etc. and were to put them into a room with no agenda or expectation except that they stay there for the allotted period of time? What might such an integral encounter group look like? How might its exchanges take place?
Imagine if you will Sally commenting to Jan: "Right now I am aware of my Controller being upset by the lack of structure in this group. My Controller is reminding me that there are things I haven't done yet and could be doing instead right now."
Imagine Fred commenting to Larry: "Larry I am having an interesting experience right now and I think it may be coming from some sort of subtle energy you are putting out."
Imagine Larry responding to Fred: "An emotional charge is really arising in me at the present moment while I am staring at you. Right now I am 3-2-1ing it to see what that might be about for me."
Imagine Susie commenting: "I am sorry to break the long silence there everybody, but I am just very aware of my conflicting feelings about it. On the one hand the aspect of me that is Non-Seeking is perfectly content to rest with what is, but the part of me that loves emotional engagement is just howling that every second of silence is a lost opportunity to get to know about you as people. While I am aware that everyone here is communicating in many more ways than just words... this is just what is coming up for me right now."
Imagine Sally pointing out to Fred: "Are you aware of the way in which you appear to so very easily shift between the short, direct, no-bullshit approach and the very open and allowing approach? I was very impressed by it, because it appears to me that it is a conscious choice and not merely a simple reaction. Sometime I believe that I will never be able to effectively communicate in that way... I mean I want to... but I just can't do that type of thing."
Imagine Fred responding: "While it would be easy to just accept that as a complement, I mean part of me definitely wants to do just that, I would be playing into my own stuff if I did that and didn't encourage you to check out what might be coming up for you right now about your own sense of how you interact with others."
Overall what might an Integral Encounter Group look like if it was one where the participants were playing a game of 'no games' with all three bodies, in both speech and silence, conscious of developmental altitude and subtle context? While it is likely that these individuals would already be (fairly) healthy in their understanding of their selves... how much might they grow if given the opportunity? What would fully integral, 3-body, argument look like?
So that is my wondering. What would a fully 'Integral' encounter group look like? If anyone out there is aware of such a thing already existing and having been tried I would love to hear about the experience and/or results.
Mark
Readings:
Esbjörn-Hargens, S. (2005?). Integral Teacher, Integral Students, Integral Classroom:
Applying Integral Theory to Education. Retrieved from:
http://multiplex.integralinstitute.org/Public/cs/files/43/education/entry4566.aspx
Rogers, C. (1970). On encounter groups. NY: Harper & Row.
Yalom, I. D. (2005). The theory and practice of group psychotherapy, 5th ed.
NY: Basic Books.